Strawberry Cupcakes

Back in April, we had the opportunity to participate in a Little Pink Houses of Hope retreat in Carolina Beach, NC.  Are you familiar with Little Pink?  No?  You should be!  They are a fantastic organization that supports people and their families who have experienced breast cancer.  We spent a week at the beach with other families and a group of wonderful volunteers.  It was a carefree time after going through a marathon of treatments and appointments.  Little Pink thought of everything--from activities, to meals, to beach towels, to pictures.  Weeks later, my son is still talking about the people he met, about playing in the sand, and about how he went on a stand up paddle board with Daddy.  We were able to focus on connecting--as a family and with other people whose lives now share the common thread of breast cancer--instead of on the act of getting through the day.

It was especially magical to be able to have that time together.  Time is a limited thing, and after having cancer, I feel more strongly that it should be spent on things that are fulfilling.  I think about how I had cancer every day.  That’s not to say that it dominates my life, that things seem dismal, or that you won’t catch me filled with joy belting out Raffi songs with my son in the car with the windows down; rather, it is something that is always just a thought away.  In some ways, I’m still mourning the life that I thought we were going to have right now.  A second baby, the feeling that there will be time for everything, the confidence that aches and pains are just that and not another part of me gone awry.  Most of the time I can acknowledge those feelings, hold them in my heart for a beat, and choose to let them go.  Other times, I am overwhelmed.  I’ll be hugging my son and it will hit me:  I am afraid.  I want to be here for him and Scott.  I want them to know how much I love them and that I’ll always love and want the best for them, no matter what.  So I’ll squeeze him extra hard to try and compress a lifetime of love into that one moment.  You just never know what will come next.  And even though our path is different than what we thought it would be, life is still fulfilling.  I’m still learning how to focus on that instead of my fears, even though sometimes it feels like a very slow process.

We’ll never be able to replicate that time we spent together in Carolina Beach.  That week would have been otherwise filled with work, daycare, grocery store trips, packing lunches, and making dinner if we had not been accepted into the retreat.  Little Pink gave us the gift of time together and an opportunity to meet inspiring people we never would have known otherwise, and because of that week, I’m a little more whole.  Thank you, Little Pink!

Now on to these cupcakes!  We bought a flat of strawberries on our ride back home from the beach at a little farm outside of Kinston, NC.  They were AMAZING (so was the Boiler Room restaurant!)!  Of course, it is kind of hard for three people to eat an entire flat, so we gave some to my brother and sister-in-law, made these cupcakes, and gobbled up the rest.  After the cupcakes were frosted and we’d had our fill, my son and I went out and shared them with our neighbors.  After all, cupcakes always taste better when they are shared with friends!

Notes:
Use the best tasting strawberries you can find for this recipe.  If they don’t taste good, you really are just going to end up with pretty pink cupcakes with no flavor.  To crush the strawberries, I use a technique my grandmother taught me for making jam:  put all of the cleaned, stemmed berries in a 9x13 pan and crush them with a potato masher.  It is really quick and has minimal mess.  For this recipe, you cook down the strawberries to concentrate the flavor and then measure out the cooked down mixture for use in both the cake and the frosting.  If you have a little bit more or a little bit less crushed berries at the start, it is ok.  The important part is that you cook it down to 1 cup.  It might seem weird to dump all of the ingredients into the mixing bowl at once for the cupcakes, but trust me, it really works.  Make sure your butter is rather soft (but not melted) when you make these.  If it is too cold, it won’t mix in very well since you’re combining everything at once.  Use regular, full-fat, sour cream for this recipe.  I’ve also made similar cupcakes with full fat yogurt with excellent results.  You’ll have some frosting left over unless you really go to town frosting these!  If you’re not eating them all on the same day, you may want to only make strawberry garnishes for the ones you are immediately eating.  If 24 cupcakes is too many, try cutting all of the ingredients in half (and use 2 yolks and 1 whole egg) to make 12.

Cupcake Ingredients:
4 cups (578 g) whole strawberries plus an additional 24 smaller berries for garnish (optional)
3 cups (423 g) all-purpose flour
2 cups (415 g) granulated sugar
3 teaspoons (15 g) baking powder
1 teaspoon (7 g) salt
1 teaspoon (2 g) lemon zest
1 cup (224 g) unsalted butter, room temperature
½ cup (119 g) sour cream
3 whole eggs
2 egg yolks
3 teaspoons vanilla

Strawberry Frosting Ingredients:
Strawberry purée (divided use from the cupcake ingredients)
1 cup (224 g) unsalted butter, room temperature
4 cups (500 g) powdered sugar

Optional Garnish:
1-2 tablespoons strawberry jelly
24 small strawberries with tops

Yields 24 cupcakes

Wash, Stem, Crush, Cook, and Cool:
Adjust the oven rack to the upper and lower thirds of the oven and preheat to 350०F.  Fill 24 muffin wells with liners and set aside.  Rinse the berries and remove the stems.  Place all of the stemmed berries in a large pan (9x13 works well) and crush the berries with a potato masher.  They don’t need to be pulverized to smithereens, but they should be broken down into small pieces.  You should have about 2½ cups of crushed berries and juice.  Transfer the crushed berries and their juices to a medium-sized saucepan and bring to a boil over medium-high heat, stirring constantly.  Once the berries are boiling, turn down the heat to medium and cook, stirring constantly, until the berries are reduced down to 1 cup.  Set the cooked purée aside to cool.  If you need it to cool quickly, you can spread it out in a thin layer on a plate.  Note that ½ cup (128 g) of the cooked strawberries purée is used in the cupcakes and ½ cup (128 g) is used in the frosting.

Whisk, Dump, Beat, Stir, Spoon, Bake, Cool:
In the bowl of the mixer, whisk together the flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt.  Add ½ cup (128 g) of the cooled cooked strawberry purée, lemon zest, softened butter, sour cream, whole eggs, egg yolks, and vanilla and beat for 30 seconds.  Then stir the mixture by hand until there are no more flour streaks.  Use a muffin scoop or spoons to transfer the mixture to the lined muffin tins.  Evenly divide the mixture over 24 muffin tins and bake at 350०F for 20-24 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean, rotating halfway through.  Transfer the cupcakes to a wire rack and allow to cool for at least 45 minutes before frosting. 

Cream, Add, Beat, Frost, Garnish:
Beat the butter until it is light and fluffy.  Add 2 cups of powdered sugar, 1 cup at a time, beating until incorporated.  Add the reserved purée and beat until incorporated.  Add the remaining 2 cups of powdered sugar, 1 cup at a time, beating until incorporated after each addition.  Continue to beat the frosting for an additional 5-10 minutes until it is of a nice spreading consistency.  (If it is too thin, add more powdered sugar.  If it is too thick, add some milk or cream, a half teaspoon at a time.) To make the garnish, place the jelly in a small bowl and microwave until it is runny.  Dip each strawberry in the hot jelly and place it on a plate to set.  Reheat the jelly again when it is no longer runny.  Frost the cupcakes generously, top with a strawberry, and enjoy!  Refrigerate any leftovers.

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